Everything pisses me off these days. Well, almost everything.
The office assistant getting my food order wrong can turn me into a time bomb!
That's how pressured and stressed I have become; I am losing my smile...slowly, its fading.
I am not exactly sure who I'm angry at.
I know it's a waste of time being upset with God but I imagine being angry at Him sometimes.
Am I angry at myself? Angry that I find myself in certain situations?
Who or what exactly am I angry at? Are these issues within physical confines or spiritual realms?
I find myself crying ahead of pending disappointments.
Is it my prediction or were they meant to be?
Where then, is the blessing behind these disappointments?
Pain, in and out.
For how long, I ask myself.
How much longer can I still with all these thoughts, issues?
What will be left of my sanity?
To another man, it may be child's play; to me, they are the little drops that are forming and filling the ocean of issues drowning me.
Dear Lord, where is your mercy in all of these?
Have I not found it? Have I not sought it enough?
Didn't I seek right? Am I worth it?
Food has become a bore, what I once loved has become a chore.
A little unrest here, a little issue there.
Day by day, a callous stroke is drawn across the sheet of my mind.
Peace, be my friend; don't dine with me at arms length.
Embrace me, embody me.
Where is my faith? In all of these, I ask myself always
I don't know...
Is this self pity? Maybe.
Am I just wallowing in my issues and finding who to blame or should I be really concerned?
"Look inwards" they always say.
So I ask, is it me?